Slow and Steady

So, Sunday, i went to my second meeting. My therapist suggested meetings as a complement to her sessions, and like i said initially, i have nothing to lose from this and possibly loads to gain. Well, the gains have been tremendous so far and as of today, im sober for 9 days. Ive eased my friends into it, and they are being supportive which is incredible because sometimes those around you will pull ya down. I have so many projects going on that if i wasnt being sober right now, everything would be a wreck instead of going really well like it is now.

My second meeting was at the triangle club and like the meeting at the church, this place is like 2 blocks from my door. Convenience makes me want to keep going. The nice people also make me want to keep going. Linda had gotten a text that morning that her brother dieted. “He slowed down on the bottle so he could pick up on the pills.” A lot of the talk revolved around death and comforting Linda which was awesome to witness–a room full of people making themselves vulnerable to help another human. 

After the meeting on sunday, i went to a work baby shower. All my work buddies drink and drink lots. Ive found that it is sometimes fun for me to watch it happen and sometimes it’s too much, but that is everything. i get overstimulated easily–that is why i am so thankful to are up early. I get to ease into the day, get comfortable with it rather than wake up in media res. That would be a shock to my system to wake up late and be frantic. So i had to go sit outside on the bench in the sun and decompress and listen to the music and the chatter coming from the open windows. It all sounded very happy. My ex girlfriend was also inside. She was civil which is all i can demand right now. I moved on to another neighborhood party for a three-year-old. I sat in the grass and soaked up some more sun and listened to talk about the OJ documentary. Next was a going away party of sorts–the event was less a party and more a political performance. Nicole Townsend busted on the asheville city council and remarked about how the civil war couldnt have been fought to free slaves as we’ve been taught in history class because ” black lives have never been valuable enough to wage a war and white people have never been civil enough to tell the truth.” Whoa. So, my darling desaray is leaving town, the person who got me to notice that black lives in fact dont matter, this is what she chose as her last throw down in asheville–fitting for the beautiful, heavy, dark soul that she is. Im excited to have a friend in Baltimore. 

I went home to a backyard of drunk people. I left to go get food immediately but was followed. I ate my supper and drank two NAs and went home to bed, leaving my roommate and some other folks to bounce around the town until the bartenders were ready for bed. Im so glad im not drinking and that i dont even have the motivation to do so. 

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