Heavy Shit

So, between Thanksgiving and Christmas this past year, a friend of mine made a comment about always gaining weight around the holidays. I replied that I hadn’t had that issue because of riding my bicycle around instead of a car. My friend cut his eyes at me and said without pause, “yeah, it can’t be anything to do with all the drugs.” I respect this friend immensely but not enough to stop me from turning right around and spending 200 bucks on some ecstasy. Like all folks socialized as female, im obsessive about my weight. I’ve never been overweight, but ive been heavier than i would wish at times, and keeping weight off just feels like a constant struggle–UNLESS you’d doing drugs because when oyu’re doing drugs, dont want to eat!  Voila! So, one of my concerns about coming off of drugs was that i would gain some weight. BUT because i was tramping around miles a day on my winter vacation and not eating much or drinking much, i managed to LOSE weight on vacation. Then my concern was that i would put weight back on once i got home, but that hasn’t been the case either. I completely cut out drinking alcohol since getting home, and that is saving me LOADS of caloric value. It is also saving me MONEY! Tons of money. I have become a very even-keeled person, and in the moments that im not, im aware of it and can manage to steer back into normal or at least observe wtf is going on to make me feel off.  So, as the Lenten season nears to a close and i no longer have to keep up with taking on expressing gratitude BUT i want to keep it up because everyone appreciates it and it is good for me as well. and what am I grateful for today?  Whatever the fuck will power is keeping me running and eating well right now.  16 days sober today!

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