Since the eclipse and an unbinding ritual a few days after that, i have felt quite…unbound. Like, last week, following the unbinding ritual’s conclusion, i started emoting like a motherfucker and cried basically all week–from monday-friday. But like my winter trip cries, this was a good thing–release. I feel pretty great now. A “test” of this change came up sunday when my mother flipped out on me and i did not react. Usually i flip out right back on her and then I’m left feeling like a schmucketty schmuck even if i didn’t start the row. This time, i was like, “well, dang, look at that flip out happen, and i have nothing to do with it.” That was nice. It sucks my mom was upset but it was nice to not feed into the frenzy.
I am really excited about my new friend and their dog. They have come to visit me a couple of times now. The communication and comfort and attraction is something i have wished for in relationships but never been able to provide on my own end and so it never manifested itself on the other end either. But after years of therapy and good friends and luck, i have come across a person that i hope stays in my life for a long time and am excited for what comes of that relationship. We camped in my yard sunday. It was cold outside and hot in the tent. I hate tents. But it was probably the best time i have ever had in a tent and makes me ok with being in tents again (as opposed to hammocks–the ubermensch way!)
I fly to baltimore thursday and hopefully Irma doesnt fuck that up for me because that is going to be a fun time with a person i love dearly. I am getting to meet a woman she is dating, get to go to a porn festival, and i might get finger tattoos! Yayyy! I also get to visit baltimore which i havent before so that’s cool.